Are you proud of me now?

I often beg you for attention.

pathetic I know,

how I crave your forced affection.

You taught me that respect,

It is something I must earn.

I swallow your abuse for lunch ,

as if I haven't learned.

You taught me that kindness,

It gets you killed.

And yet you're my demon.

Rivers of my blood that only you have spilled.

What would it take, Mom?

What would it take for you to love me?

I show my loyalty to you,

with these cuts upon my wrists.

I'm also worthy of respect you see.

Why must you hurt me like this?

A mothers love, what should come natural,

you seal with your deathly kiss.

Why can't you put everything aside,

Even pretend that I am worth more,

than one of your gambles,

a scratch off ticket from the store.

Do I not matter to you?

Do you wish we'd never met,

do you dream of a re-do,

Am I just your biggest regret?

Ok......Bettt.

-LaurenAshley

© LTarabori92

4/3/21