Congratulations

Give yourself a Double,

Thumbs up!

Go ahead and ease your trouble.

Imagine the sun is up.

Your worries float away in bubbles.

Now with your arms still extended,

Hold them tight.

Position them eye length apart,

and don't lose heart,

and do this next part right!

In one swift motion,

jam them into your eyes.

Permanently damaging your sight.

Congratulations.

Celebrations.

Less concentration,

on your stress sensation.

Now take your hand.

Like a self lover,

grab the staple gun.

Make yourself suffer.

Like losing your grip, just,

You can't get enough of her.

And no, these games aren’t meant for fun.

Let this be your buffer.

For Sure!

Congratulations.

Celebrations.

Relief salutations,

in your peaceful nation.

Now go to the bathroom,

and clean up the mess.

But if you have to,

smash your head on the brass...

Sink! until you're legally cuckoo.

Turn your brains into mash.

Do it all over again,

to make a little more cash.

Get ready,

cause if you think that was rash, hah.

Congratulations.

Celebrations.

New found elation,

stress free operations.

Now take out your katana,

and place it at your neck.

Then call for your mamma.

She gonna help you set the deck.

Lay it all out,

don’t act like you don’t wanna!

Slashes, bleeding out on the set.

Where did your life go?

Looks like life it is a goner,

and you can cash your final check.

Congratulations.

Celebrations.

No more complications.

Say hello to your death,

a standing ovation.

-LaurenAshley