Just my Luck

There is a journal in my desk,

of which has seen my inner self.

But my commonsense sits in a box

on a shelf.

And it is labeled “my mental health”.

I guess you could say,

I have a paper heart.

It’s soggy from your rain now,

Has been from the start.

Each spot in our hearts

is filled with something we love

And life takes that from us

Causing our hearts to feel bare

But I Love to Love and I know this isn't rare

The love that I receive

and the love that I share

They don't even compare

Different levels

I'm always left in despair

This beautiful nightmare

A heart like mine is rare

But the love for something else isn't

Everyone has the same heart

We just love to a beat that hits different

Scores will be settled with karma

the hate will come too

And every time it comes through

People will always leave you

people will Hate you

And despite you

They will Mislead you

grieve you

And cut off people that your tied to

In the end

If the love is real

if the love is true

The real will recognize real

And I can be here for you

She is stuck with me forever

Then I'm wasting all her time

But what is time,

Is it now?

is it never?

Leaving,

A certain death sentence.

Unforgivable crime.

And I can’t leave, i cant hide;

But staying here,

Most certain will be a fight

Can't suck up our pride

Playing games,

Cause we both gotta be right.

Small town fame.

Orphaned lies, you still won’t claim.

Ignoring the pain.

just remember my name,

My names Lauren,

I wear it proud,

Without shame.

And I'll wear your hate like war paint.

Benched; You ain't playing in this game.

Just another no name,

and my name will never change

I been the same since birth

when I first hit earth

Before we reached our worst

The ending I got to first

On the ground where you left me

Finding worms; Squiggling

But She didn't mind

I now know why,

It reminds me of my insides

How I feel when I love you

It's Unsettling, its unkind

I'm addicted to the pain

There never was a rewind

Words from anger

slip from our lips .

Sticks and stones

And broken bones

So here's some tips

Remember,

tongues can be wicked

and when they whisper in your ear

the vibrations that you hear

Are they Secrets that you keep?

Willing to live with the outcome you seek

You decide.

The truth is...

I let in this rain.

And I cant even be mad

But it will take over your brain.

maybe that's OK.

Because I'm unstable.

Probably best that you don't stay

Best not to tell me all your fears.

Filling cups with our tears.

To many late nights,

Here is to you

Cheers!

To many wasted years

The Wasted careers.

It's what's real

it's our deal

It Is our final ending

It is a blessing

Now we are redressing

Bring up issues, always pressing

Humans are descending

Extinction

Extinction

The sky is falling

Maybe that's why

My mind is crawling

My tongue is telling me

I’m always stalling

That i'm in danger

But I only run in circles,

And my heart becomes my stranger

Just my luck,

That id use your feelings as my crutch

Padded rooms inside my head

And I suffer here too much.

Just my luck

-LaurenAshley

© LTarabori92

4/5/21